Bradford City were known as the shootout kings, winning a record nine consecutive penalty shootouts when they defeated Arsenal 3-2 0n penalties in 2012 at Valley Parade. Sometimes the God of Fortune don’t smile so kindly on that lone figure attempting to convert from 12-yards out from goal, aiming at 17.86m² of space with a swaying and jerking keeper trying to put you off. There are various ‘techniques’ that can be adopted, this is the one adopted by Leeds United’s £2.5m striker Chris Wood,
So stupid, trying to be to bloody precise!! Will live and learn by it. I won't be shying away from the next one & I'll put that one right.
— Chris Wood (@officialcwood) August 13, 2015
Now the definition of precision involves a level of fine detail and accuracy…here’s how Twitter reponded to Chris Wood’s ‘precise’ penalty kick attempt.
For some it’s the inoccuous approach that is best, that gentle nudge,
Chris Wood. Chris Waddle. No one named Chris should ever take a penalty. #lufc
— Darren Leathley (@DarrenLeathley) August 13, 2015
However, some prefer just to add a little moving image to this moving tale of woe,
https://twitter.com/WALMOT3/status/631954020639354880
The Leeds Twitterati continue to deride Wood’s precision,
At least we finally found a use for Wootton – launch him into outer space to collect Wood's penalty miss. #lufc
— 𝕋𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕪 (@tommy_lufc) August 13, 2015
Simplicity and brevity of wit are calls of the day for some,
Chris Wood owes me a new kitchen window. #lufc
— Tom Carnduff (@TomC_22) August 13, 2015
Still the mirth and merriment continues, this time on an astrological note,
Meteor shower last night. Chris Wood's penalty tonight. Big week for space #lufc
— Nick (@Nicklufc801) August 13, 2015
Some Leeds fans are concerned for other -in-flight objects,
Poor ET and Elliott will have been knocked off their bike by Chris Wood's penalty. Hope they're ok #LUFC
— Carl (@carltimmins18) August 13, 2015
Still Leeds United fans pour on the scorn and sarcasm,
Those two pens from Byram and Wood were so bad the RAF have scrambled two tornado fighter jets to intercept them. #lufc
— Matt (@MWJS82) August 13, 2015
Whilst other Leeds fans are wondering if Chris Wood should be allowed to diversify his penalty-taking expertise and move into other areas,
Is there any chance we could get Wood to kick Doukara up the arse in exactly the same way as his penalty? #lufc
— Gary Måltby (@ArgyMaltby) August 13, 2015
It wasn’t the greatest strike from 12-yards that has ever graced football’s green turf. Wood’s precision might have been OK if he were Dan Carter and it was a match-winning conversion, but the secret of football is to get it under the bar, not over. Still, as with the general Twitter comments regarding the Leeds United defeat at the hands of Doncaster, humour and wit are in the prevalence rather than bitterness and hatred.
